Unemployment: So exciting it makes the world tremble in fear

Yesterday, I was on my computer, reading the news, gchatting with folks and halfheartedly looking up job openings when I felt my legs shake. At first I thought my legs were being weird, perhaps rebelling against me for two consecutive days of yoga. Then the shaking intensified and I got frustrated at my landlord, thinking, "Look, I know no one else is home right now because they all are good citizens with jobs, working to better our society, but I AM HOME and I PAY TO LIVE HERE so please desist with the renovations downstairs." That's when the glasses in the kitchen started to shake and my microwave almost fell off its cart, and I came to the realization that it wasn't renovations. So I looked out my window. Nothing. Then my friend in New York City asked me if I had felt something, and I was finally able to piece it all together.Roanoke is about 150 miles southwest from Mineral, VA where the earthquake originated, but as everyone knows from the abundance of news stories, everyone is fine, nothing went wrong, etc etc. It was unexpected because... we never have earthquakes here, as evidenced by my complete ignorance as to what was occurring. Friends as far north as Montreal said they felt the quake.

Funemployment has, thus far, meant large amounts of cleaning and forcing myself to "exercise" because I know I have no excuse now. After two days of yoga, today I opted to combine exercise with cleaning and vacuumed. Hey, hey, it's totally cardio. Stop laughing.

Let's discuss vacuums, shall we? When I moved into this apartment, my parents gave me their old vacuum so they could get a new one. And by "gave" I mean they didn't want their old one anymore because it was awful but have issues throwing things out so I got stuck with it. Whenever used, it would emit clouds of dust, leaving whatever roomed you vacuumed smelling like dirt. Curiously, the clear bagless part never seemed to fill up with anything, either. My theory? It picked up the dust from the floor and spread it around your room until it resettled to the floor you just theoretically cleaned. Your room doesn't even get to SMELL clean - it's awful.

In my effort to deep-clean the apartment for lack of anything better to do with my time, I asked Brittannica if I could borrow her new vacuum. This morning, I woke up early like a kid on Christmas morning, and vacuumed away. Let me tell you... after months, nay YEARS, of a dreadful vacuum, this was like vacuuming with unicorns and elves. This thing cleans and my apartment even has those fun vacuum lines on the carpet! This thing is legit, let me tell you.

So that's my life right now. Earthquake. Fake, half-assed exercise. Cleaning. Throw in some job hunting and you've got a pretty good picture of my day-to-day. Please, withhold your jealousy.

(Image cred to the hilarious tumblr jmckinley and his representation of DC's 2010 earthquake devastation)

Sign the Petition for AmeriCorps!

A dear friend of mine who also happens to also be a VISTA, emailed me this article the other day.

Without going into excessive detail, it describes how the GOP is trying to eliminate AmeriCorps in order to cut spending. I don't want to get political, I don't, but this infuriates me. Of all the programs to do away with, AmeriCorps shouldn't even be a contender. We volunteers dedicate our time, dedicate a year of our lives, at a minimum, to help with capital projects, with direct service, to improve educational facilities or achieve sustainable development for nonprofits across the country. To deem us unworthy of the pittance we're paid is insulting. Pray tell, GOP, what do you deem a more worthy cause of my living stipend? I'm sorry to be inconveniencing you in my efforts to raise money for nonprofits in Roanoke. You're right, incredibly cheap labor for a righteous cause... it's worthless.

One of our clients, a nonprofit after-school program, has an 80% high school graduation rate, whereas the rate for Roanoke City public schools is a mere 67%. They've had one pregnant girl in their thirty years in this city. One. You dare tell me that's not an institution worth building capacity for? You have the gall to say let them fundraise on their own in these trying economic times? You honestly believe they don't deserve a VISTA to assist in their sustainability efforts?

Shame on you. My work means more than that.

Please sign the petition to keep AmeriCorps up and running. Remind the rest of this country of the importance of community service.

Edit: Here is a great piece on the importance of AmeriCorps in Florida, and throughout the country.

In the words of Petula Clark, CALL ME!

I very much dislike spending money, as you can probably tell from my miserly budgeting post. In college, I had friends talk me into spending over $25 on a pair of jeans on various occasions. I prefer to save my money for exciting food expenses, like a new cheese or a fun bottle of Spanish wine (which, yes, I bought the other week. I'm saving it for a special occasion). Buying Mr. Merlot was a huge accomplishment for me that was accompanied with various headaches and moments of hesitation.

However, when Verizon got the new iPhone, it didn't take much convincing on my brother's behalf before I caved. At one point in his persuading, I said, "Come on, at least let me think it over," and he said, "Whatever, you know you'll end up ordering one by the end of the day." That's exactly what happened.

This is my old phone. Yes, I am well aware of just how ghetto it is. This phone, along with looking sad, had a plastic cover inside that was coming off. Sometimes, it would just shut itself off when it was mad at me. Other times, it got temperamental about texting and would only accept them if i hit the "end call" button twice and then went to my inbox. Most fourteen year olds I know, or see, had nicer phones than me. But I was okay with that, generally, because I liked being on Verizon and I didn't like any of their other phone options. Regular phones were ugly and expensive for what they were. I'm not a huge fan of the Droid. The only Blackberry that truly appeals to me is the Torch, and that's on AT&T. So I waited.

And then Verizon got the iPhone. Oh, the iPhone. So within one day of Verizon offering it, I had ordered it. A few days and frustrating phonecalls with UPS later, I had it. It really is glorious. I've synced my personal calendar and my work calendar, I woke up this morning, and was able to read the news INSTANTLY from my NPR news app. I, of course, have Angry Birds, which OfficeMate has been playing more than me. I no longer have to be embarrassed by my phone - I can take it out with pride!

What is depressing is acknowledging just how old Maccy, my computer, has gotten. His software is too old to handle the latest version of iTunes, which is what you need to make the iPhone function. At least I live with someone whose computer can handle what mine can't.

I know what you're thinking. "MV, you make zero money. How are you affording this?"

I'll tell you how. 1. My friendly savings account. Happy you've-had-bad-phones-since-you-were-17 gift to ME! 2. The phone itself is really what's pricey. Adding a data plan to my current cell bill isn't that horrendous. It's actually incredibly do-able. Once I finish with VISTA and hopefully find myself with a salary and benefits, it'll be a drop in the pond of expenses.

On a side note, poor Mr. Merlot was backed into today while we were running errands. (We being me and my car, of course.) The man was very apologetic and we exchanged information, but I became very aware of how protective I am of my little car. I wasn't so much angry that he busted my rear bumper as I was sad that my car, my new years resolution of five years, was hurt. I know my car's not the best and shiniest, but I am awfully attached, much more than I was with any car I drove in high school. Here's to emotional attachment to inanimate objects. I know he loves me back.

(I'm fine. It would be a stretch to even call it a fender-bender.)

January is Mentoring Month!

For those of you who are unaware, January is in fact Mentoring Month

Big Brothers Big Sisters of SWVA spent yesterday and today hosting a wonderful event known as "Big for a Day" to raise awareness about mentoring in the valley. Fourteen prominent leaders in the community were selected to have a "little" spend the day with them, shadowing life in the corporate world. Some of these kids got to do things I'm frankly jealous of, like the kid who got to see all the trucks before the Monster Truck Rally this weekend. Each participant was challenged to raise $1,000 - or how much it costs to provide one child with a mentor for one year.

For more information, check it out at the BBBS of SWVA website.

We've been planning this event for a few months now, and I'm giddy with anticipation to hear about how it went come Monday. Mentoring is such a simple way to make such a big difference in the life of an unlucky kid. It's something I hope to do when I've stabilized my life.

And while we're on it.... The office has a bowling team for the BBBS of SWVA March event... Bowl for Kids' Sake. If you're feeling generous, throw a donation my way here! All proceeds go directly to BBBS of SWVA, which in turns helps match at-risk kids with mentors.

OfficeMate mocks me and says my blog is morphing into shameless nonprofit advertisements. He may be right. For now, enjoy this awesome video for BBBS' new campaign: Start Something.

Hunger

I got sick this past weekend. Nothing big, just a 24 hour deal where I, yet again, worshiped the porcelain god. I know these all sound like hangovers every time I write about them, but I swear, that's not the case.

As a result of being sick, I was very weary of eating. I picked at some soup, had a grapefruit, and generally just complained about my stomach hurting. Because I'm apparently three, not twenty-three.

Yesterday being Martin Luther King Day, there was no work to be had. I, for one, was grateful for the extra day to recuperate from my stomach being upset with me. I had told a friend and fellow AmeriCorps volunteer that I would attend her Hunger Banquet she organized today. So I convinced OfficeMate to join, and the two of us headed over.

The Hunger Banquet was unlike anything I had ever experienced. Each person draws a card that either reads "Low" "Middle" or "High," and you are given your meal accordingly. The cards are made so that the correct percentage of the room is in each category, according to worldwide poverty levels. Being that the majority of the world is in poverty, it wasn't super surprising when OfficeMate and I both drew "low." We feasted on a spoonful of rice out of a napkin on burlap sacks on the floor with the majority of the others in attendance, while a select four or five were allowed large meals at a table, and a few others were served beans and rice in a bowl with a fork, like fancy folks do.

It really helped put poverty into focus. For me, I have the occasional complaint about my current tight budget, but realistically, I'm hoping to search for a salaried job after this. I'm hoping to be able to pay off student loans in a realistic amount of time, and I'm hoping to learn from this experience of living in poverty for a year, but not stay in it for an undetermined period of time.

It gets me thinking, how can I help? Other than volunteering for one year, how can I help? How can I make equality a lifestyle, not just an idea?

Volunteer. Not just as an AmeriCorps volunteer, but hands-on, direct service. I want to get back into the habit of going every Wednesday to the food pantry. I've had weeks where things legitimately come up, but other weeks I just say I'm too tired. Laziness is no way to combat poverty.

Stay educated. Education is the single largest weapon against poverty. However, those that need education are not just the impoverished. A pet peeve of mine are people who don't follow the news - like current events don't apply or affect them in any way. Just because you don't feel the need to inform yourself, doesn't mean things don't go on happening. Things like Hunger Banquets, the One Campaign, the Catholic Campaign for Human Development, Heifer International, hell, even AmeriCorps.... while these things all exist to combat poverty, they also offer a wealth of information regarding poverty statistics and the reality of it. To combat poverty, we must educate ourselves before we can even fathom educating others.

Patience. I am an impatient person. When a commercial comes on tv, I have a back up channel to watch instead of sitting through ads. I switch the radio station to avoid listening to commercials. I'd rather take a right turn on red and go an alternate route than wait through a red light. When my five-year old macbook, Maccy, takes his sweet time loading a website, I go do something else like make tea.

But patience is a necessity in overcoming poverty. Poverty is a mindset, a roadblock, a commercial, a red light, a slowly loading webpage with too many images. It won't change with the click of a button or one grant. It won't be solved in my lifetime.

What I hope is that it can be alleviated in my lifetime, and I hope to be the cause of some alleviation. So for now, I"ll do what I can to assist in the process of battling poverty. I'll continue to volunteer, I'll educate myself, and I'll force myself to be patient. Maybe I'll even sit through a red light.


Here are some links to some GREAT nonprofits out there. Feel free to comment with other organizations you know doing fantastic work!
OxFam
One
Catholic Campaign for Human Development
Heifer International

Budgeting - Part II

So last time we had a rant about money. How about we legitimately discuss budgeting this time around?

In my budget, I like to have my annual income right there, front and center, no matter how much it may make me cry every time I see it. Poverty is poverty, and there's no denying it. I then break it down to monthly income, and go from there. I'd give you guys a nice snapshot of my excel sheet, but you have no need of knowing how much/if I put anything into my savings. (generally that's negatory, ghost rider) Then I just break it down by category. For about two months, my spreadsheet was itemized and placed in each category, with a nice relating pie chart so I knew what percentage of my cash was going where. As of since, I've become slightly less anal-retentive and slightly more lazy, but I still enjoy having a general idea of where I can cut back.

Food
My brother called me up the other day, asking me how much I spent on groceries. I mastered grocery shopping in college, trying not to spend over $30 a week at the Harris Teeter. I can proudly say that, shopping for two, my grocery bill is now rarely over $50 a week. I don't eat many things I'd like to - chevre (good Lord, an assortment of cheese in general), a solid Spanish chorizo, I cook with much more vegetable oil rather than olive oil, and I have close to no herbs in my cupboard.

This is, hands down, the category I am most proud of. Because OfficeMate and I split our food bill 50/50, I generally don't spend more than $125 a month on groceries. The extra $25 comes from things I don't need, persay, but don't expect OfficeMate to split with me, such as coffee, wine and crystallized ginger (let me have my one unnecessary expense). I only purchase wine when I'm in Northern Virginia, where I can stock up on bottles of Three Buck Chuck. I only drink wine with dinner, really, and have saved a ton of money on that as a result. No, it's not classy wine. Yes, far superior wine exists. No, I cannot afford that. Yes, I am content with my $3 bottles.

Also, and this is something that seems like such a no brainer, but I never even bothered with in college, plan your weekly menus based on what's on sale that week. I am a HUGE dork and signed up for the Kroger coupons that they email to you. From there, I scour what's on sale that week and look up recipes accordingly. And if bread's on sale for $1/loaf, don't just buy one. Grab four or five, even if your roommate mocks you, and shove 'em in the freezer. Then you don't have to worry about bread for a while. I only buy meat on sale, and get it in huge quantities to separate into smaller bags and then freeze. While some weeks your grocery bill may sky rocket to $70 because you bought a ton of meat, the next week it'll be significantly lower because you won't have to buy any.

Let's not forget to take into consideration that we eat the AmeriCorps VISTA lunch of champions on a almost daily basis - Peanut Butter and Jelly. But you know what? We mix up the snack on the side! Chips, pretzels, fruit, cheez its. It's not super thrilling, but my bank account's a fan. Sometimes I go crazy and have leftovers for lunch. (Free frozen Olive Garden helps, too)

When you break it all down... $200/month for food for two people. $100/month per person. $25/week. $3.57/day. Not too shabby.

Gas
Sharing an apartment with a coworker has been fantastic for an array of reasons, but one of the big ones is how much we're both saving on gas. When I first moved here, gas was a glorious $2.34/gallon. It's on the rise and is now hovering around $2.90. When I was in Northern Virginia over Christmas, I paid well over $3.00, so I do understand your pain, rest of the world. As a result of forced carpooling, though, I only fill up Mr. Merlot about twice a month, so long as I don't visit the family. Each fill up now costs me around $30, so I only shell out about $60/month to get around town. I highly recommend carpooling - it's a win-win for your wallet and the environment! If you can't carpool, look into public transit, especially if you're in an urban area. Between gasoline, tolls, and parking fees, it sometimes becomes more cost efficient to suck it up and take the bus. It's not just for plebeians anymore, I promise. Plus, you get sweet built-in reading time!

Car Expenses
I was incredibly hesitant about buying a car because while I knew I could handle the cost of gas, I had no idea what to truly expect for all the other costs.

Insurance in this town is gloriously low. Yes, my car is registered here as a result. Plus, you get all sorts of discounts if you pay online, all at once, etc etc. As a result, insurance isn't too horribly painful. What IS horribly painful, however, are those unexpected car costs. Such as when I first purchased Mr. Merlot and his check engine light kept coming on, and I was quoted a quarter of the cost of the damn car to fix the problem at hand. Thank goodness for second opinions. That still set me back, though. This is why I put away chunks of change, no matter how small, every month into the savings account. Because when your car decides to become a princess, you have to be ready to shell out the cash. I ain't saying he a gold digger....

Now I'm dealing with the wonders of tires, state inspections and oil change #3578635. Again, family, you best appreciate my driving home. I wouldn't reach 3k miles so quickly if I wasn't always on I81. Happy New Year, indeed.

Rent
We live in a super cheap apartment. We don't pay for water or heat, either. Granted, our windows spontaneously break, we have a trashbag taped over another window, I can't make tea and dry my hair without the entire apartment losing power, and I think our bathtub is a generic, falling apart bathfitter. However, these are all things I'm okay with, considering the amount we pay for rent.

Utilities
Electric and Internet/TV. Electric's not SO bad, all things considered. Internet/TV we opted to shell out a little more for, because, hey, it's cheaper to stay at home and watch tv than pay money to go out. It's sad and a little hermit-ish of us, but it's true. When you make/don't make as much as we do, you have to take things like that into consideration. The utilities are far from stretching the cash.

Entertainment
Here's the most depressing category of all. This is generally a category where people put in things like "movies" or "eating out." I have gone to the movies once since I've come to Roanoke. I eat out, MAYBE, once a week. And it's generally something classy like McDonald's or Wendy's. ...or my burrito joint. My lack of a social life, while depressing, is very cost-effective. I honestly could never afford to live on what they pay me if I went out to eat at a $15/head place once a week. Because that comes out to $60/month on eating out, and that just seems like irresponsible spending. So you have to get creative. VT hockey games are $5/each. The library is FREE (thank God). Mooching off of your roommate's parents Netflix account to stream movies is also free. Did I mention I read a lot?

When people come to visit, you show them the star, maybe the puppy store in the mall, and then they just chill at the apartment. My parents were in town this past weekend and, along with chilling at the apartment, we visited antique stores with merchandise we could never afford. But hey, looking is free and entertaining! Anyone need a suit of armor for $350?

Health/Beauty
I steal toilet paper from my parents. This is a true confession. Whenever I go back to their house, I nab another six rolls of Costco's finest. I have yet to purchase a roll of TP since I moved to this apartment in October. Similarly, roommate's mother gave us some cleaning supplies when we moved in. I've yet to purchase dish detergent.

Before moving, I stocked up on things I knew I'd need but wouldn't be able to afford for a while. Toothpaste, contact solution, shampoo, razor refills. Things like make-up I find I use less and less, because I'm aware of my snooty make-up preferences and know I can't afford them anymore. (Mac pressed powder, I love you so!) I mean, I still wear make-up, just less of it. We're down to powder, blush and mascara on a daily basis. Any more than that, and it's unnecessarily fancy.

Health. Goodness. I'm running out of contacts, but fear the optometrist. Maybe I'll just start wearing my glasses all the time. I haven't been the dentist since, like, 2008, no joke. I fear a cavity. I can't afford that right now, so I just won't go and will get more serious about flossing. When I had my cold last week, I did splurge on some meds. But hey, a volunteer's gotta do what a volunteer's gotta do. I dislike this category, because it forces me to acknowledge that, much like my car needs an oil change to function, I need corrective lenses and a full set of teeth. ...I'm just more likely to give Mr. Merlot oil before I'll give myself a cleaning.

Savings
Poor Savings Account. He had a rough 2010. I had been such a good saver until last year. I bought a car, had all the pesky expenses that come with moving, and had a large chunk of cash stolen when some asshole felt my money should be his. Savings Account had to step in and pick up Checking Account's according slack. Ever since all these unfortunate events, I've been trying to replenish him, but it's slow going. Many a pay period goes by that I don't get to transferring funds, and that's not something I'm proud of, especially because I know it could be done. He still gets a cell in Excel, though, because I know I OUGHT to be putting something in there on, at least, a monthly basis. No matter how minimal.

I don't live lavishly, that's for sure. I spend the majority of my money on rent, food and my car. I'm aware of this. But these aren't things I can really cut back on anymore. I tried applying for food stamps (now known as SNAP) a few months back, only to discover that there's a cut-off if you have X-amount in savings. And trust me, it doesn't have to be much. I'm far from rolling in the big-bucks here. The flaws in the system aggravate me so much - it's like they WANT to deter people in poverty from saving, because if they do, they're not eligible for SNAP. It's such crap, and irritates me to no end.

All that being said, it is very possible to live off what they pay me. Live off, but not plan for anything else. I'm finding saving to be incredibly difficult. If I had children, I'd probably be eligible for WIC, but I'd still have more mouths to feed, and that's not even taking into consideration clothing, toys, or the cost of saving for higher education. Poverty as a single adult with no one else to provide for is do-able. I can see how poverty in a family becomes such a generational problem so quickly, though.

Budgeting - Part I

I've been debating the pros and cons of this post for a while now, but I think I'm just going to go ahead and write it.

As much as the ridiculous happenstance that occurs on a regular basis can be amusing and provide for interesting blog posts (just humor me, please, and concur), living in poverty is one of the most important things an AmeriCorps volunteer does. It allows us to practice what we preach and put what little money we have where our mouth is.
In college, I wasn't making bank, but I held down two jobs to pay for pesky things like rent and food. They weren't impressive jobs -essentially a glorified secretary/security guard (because I'm so threatening) for the residence halls and tutoring Spanish for the Athletics department. They paid... minimum wage, campus job style, but they paid and that's what mattered.

Over the summers (save for one where I worked as a grocery store cashier. Bananas. 4011), I interned with a defense contractor for the Department of Defense. It was at this internship that I learned all my legitimately useful skills - excel, time management, how to function in a group dynamic, meeting deadlines, and the list goes on. However, this job also led me to take hefty paychecks for granted. I came to expect them. When job hunting, I initially was looking for something that paid more or less what I made there, but I also wanted benefits. That kind of money is not something that exists in the nonprofit sector (much like jobs), so I was sorely disappointed.

This experience here in Roanoke has taught me that so little of the world, hell, even of Virginia, lives by DC's standards. Even just driving Mr. Merlot makes me self-conscious because he's an older car and lacks his sexy Toyota T. It's all about status and type A personalities. Everything is a competition, from salary to the car you drive to where your kids go to school - and that's no way to live, never being content with what you have.

Even though my car is ghetto, I love it. Even though there's a plastic bag taped over a window in my apartment, it's still home. Even though I don't have a dishwasher or garbage disposal, I still think I have the cutest kitchen in the world. Even though I don't go out ever, I'm still able to be happy. (Okay, I could go for a little more socializing, but that's besides the point.) Roanoke has made me simplify and reevaluate what's truly important.

I read a lot these days, something I used to love to do but could never be bothered to find the time. I love it. A few weeks ago, I read three books in one weekend. I highly recommend Water for Elephants. I took up knitting again, just for the hell of it. I have time to cook, and while I'm definitely not cooking anything fancy, I still enjoy it. Yes, I realize that I sound like a 75 year old woman, but I'm a happy 75 year old woman living a simplified life.

I'll end it there, because this is getting rather lengthy. Next up: budgeting! Not that any of you need to know how to get by on what is legally declared the poverty level, but I intend to impart some knowledge on how I get it done. Spoiler alert: I am able to feed two people on less than $7 a day. Yes, all three meals.

My First Grant

The Grant
This entry title is a slight misnomer... I have yet to actually complete my first grant. However, I have completed versions 1,2,3,4,5 and 6. Unsatisfactory versions in between versions 1-6 were trashed. Tomorrow will inevitably bring more versions, but by Friday at 5pm, those versions will be inconsequential.

Today is important, because I have completed all the aspects required of me on the application, regardless of how terribly written or what glaring grammatical errors may still be left.

This grant and I... I noticed him from across a smoky bar known as the internet and he quickly gave me his digits. As I've gotten to know him, I learned how much money he had, how much I could ask of him. I learned what he expected of me (he wants it all on paper) and I learned he had a deadline. There are others out there vying for his attention (and money), and I had a deadline to impress him by.

Commence freak out. Commence overreaction. Commence stress.

I have never written a grant before. Now, I legitimately enjoy writing. But this wasn't my opinion of Henrik Ibsen* for a professor to glaze over and throw in a pile. This was asking for money so underprivileged children could have access to educational software. If I messed this up, there were larger, more implicit, ramifications than subtle drop in my GPA.

I brought it home this past weekend. Yes, the grant and I were getting serious. Sadly, I left him ignored in a pile on the floor and kicked my shoes over him until Monday night. Monday night I spent a handful of hours organizing my thoughts, kicking my five year-old MacBook for not being more responsive, and trying to plot out the best argument for this nonprofit. By the time I came in to work on Tuesday, I was unsatisfied with my work.

My Supervisor (new Supervisor, not Britannica) was a Godsend today. She is graciously and patiently explaining some of the most basic concepts to me and beating me over the head with the reminder "to not reinvent the wheel." I stayed late at the office today, cranking this grant out. I am determined to give myself at least one full day of edits before submitting it.

Hopefully, I'll win this thing.

Alone at the Office
Our office is an old house. I have a love-hate relationship with it. I love that it has character, I love that when we have lunch we gather around a dining room table, I love that we have a full kitchen and I love that the building itself is adorable. I hate that it's drafty and creaky.

The draftiness has yet to be a real issue thanks to this bipolar weather Roanoke's trying on for size. There was one day the other week that was particularly cold, but I found a spaceheater that Britannica abandoned and was fine. The creakiness has also been a non-issue because the office is generally so full of people, laughter, OfficeMate's singing, Across-the-Hall coworker yelling at OfficeMate to not sing, and our affordable intercom (yelling) that the creakiness goes unnoticed.

Today 5pm rolls around and OfficeMate and Across-the-Hall dip out. It's 5pm, we're the last ones there, it makes sense. I would generally go, too. Except, I have this grant. No big deal. I'm on a mission. I'm committed. I get into my writing mode. Off come the shoes. Forget the sweater. Turn off classic rock, bust out the Juan Luis Guerra. The cursor is blinking and I am feeling the good grant vibes rushing through me. That could just be the sugar rush from the diet coke and half a bag of candy corn, but I told myself they were good grant vibes. And then I heard it.
thunk thunk thunk
I figured it was the door, so I put the shoes and sweater back on, turn down the music, and head downstairs. No one was at either door, so I went back upstairs. Sweater and shoes off, music up.
creeeeeeeeeeeeek
If there is anything that's an incentive to finish your work early, it's a creaky house. I went back downstairs, again in vain, and accepted the fact that the house was rejecting my being there. It proceeded to continuously proclaim its dislike for the next few hours, but I did not leave until I was satisfied with my writing. Or, semi satisfied. All in a day's work.

*Henrik Ibsen, I'm not a huge fan.

Rain in the Valley

It's been raining in the mountains.

A hard rain's a gonna fall, as Bob Dylan says.
Last week, I referenced New Friend. New Friend is, in reality, Supervisor. Sadly, she is leaving the office to pursue life goals, for which I wish her only the best. As a result of her departure, she can no longer be referred to as "Supervisor" and shall henceforth be known as "Britannica." She spent a good three days or so brainstorming her new nickname, with the help of some choice coworkers, and that is the best our office could come up with.

Britannica's leaving is tough. I'm certain everyone at work will concur with my saying she has been the glue for the past two years, somehow keeping tabs on the eight thousand aspects that make our mission a reality and not just some pipedream. I honestly do wish her the best in her endeavors and still have every intention of seeing her on a regular basis, but the office just won't be the same without her. She is a phenomenal, inspiring person, and I hope I can make a fraction of the difference she's been able to make here in this valley.

Stepping up to the challenge
With Britannica's leaving, things are getting intense at the office. If there was something I hadn't learned from her yet, I'm learning it now. Activity reports, grant summaries, general verbage, contact lists. I've been hand held long enough, and now is the chance for me to honestly just jump in. It's time to sink or swim, and I'm doing my best at doggy paddle. When I think about all I've learned in the past month, it really becomes overwhelming. It is also promising, in its own twisted way. If I can handle this much, I can only get better at it.

Office Anecdote
Britannica had a serious relationship with her expo board. I'm talking they had been together about two years (from what I can gather), they went home together on a regular basis, and he was practically her entire world. Now that she's leaving the office, she is leaving him as well.

The Expo Board has been left in my care. I have inherited this wonderful piece of white plastic. First thing today, I color-coded my to-do list with places for check marks and my life feels so complete. Being able to SEE my to-do list, and having other people (read as: OfficeMate) see it makes me feel much more accountable for my work. If something is not checked off, others can call me out on it. Hello, superior productivity. Hopefully we'll get along just fine.

Everything else.
My money has yet to be returned. I'm not super worried about it. The whole experience has made me realize how many stupid things happen because of money. I may not be rolling in the big bucks, I may have ripped a belt loop off a pair of jeans this past weekend (damn you, jeans dance!) and Mr. Merlot may not have the fancy Toyota "T" on him anymore, but I'm happy. I am genuinely happy.

I am currently living with wonderful and understanding people (no, honestly, they're like the best people I've ever met). I am lucky enough to have a job where I get to help others, help those who need it the most. I have met some of the most genuinely awesome people in this town. I am inspired on a daily basis by the wonderful people I work with and even more by the strength of the people I serve. I have a roof over my head, food in my stomach and gas in my tank. I don't need much more. In the past month, more than ever in my life, I've begun to evaluate what really matters.

This rain in the valley, it's doing nothing more than clearing off the dusty distractions from my life. All these worries in my life; money that will eventually make its way back into my account, friendships that may never materialize.... they're being washed away.

And what's left are people. People have helped me in this past rough month. They've helped house me, they've lent me money, they've listened to me vent, they've sent me support in so many forms (including surprise flowers at work!).

And that's why I want to help people. Because, when there is nothing left, no other outlet when you have no hope, you're just looking for a helping hand or a patient ear. Others have been that for me, and I so desperately want to be that for so many others.

That is why I serve.